Brentwood Business Networking Blog 10th March

Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 10^th March 2016.

20 Members present with 2 visitors; Health and Safety man David Everett and  Printer Derrick Buckle.

They both left the meeting clutching membership application forms and promising to return next week.

The Education presentation came from our educationalist Mr Plumley who majored on the 60 second round and the need to mention something different each week and to spend time prior to turning up on a Thursday in preparation; something that I am pleased to endorse.

The 60 second round revealed 1 or 2 little gems.  It was all started by Marcelle really, and the 20 carat Marquise Diamond that the former Ms Hall was presented with by the Mogul Murdock.  She showed the elongated diamond which was of a type that in 1745 was presented by king Louis to Madam du Pompadour.  The theory is that the said diamond was an approximation of the shape  of Ms Hall’s body, or did I misunderstand.

Jo Jones regaled us with herbal life and declared that she has a shake every day.  It would be appreciated if this was done in front of the meeting every week instead of her 60 seconds.

Brian Painter told of a woman with a fear of fish, not the battered cod variety but the swimming live fish that inhabit the sea.  His view of his client was of the back of her head and her bottom, happily snorkelling once he had applied his magic.  I had the unworthy thought that she had to lie faced down on the couch in order to exhibit the back of the head and the bottom but again I probably got it wrong.

Whatever Whimsy was introduced by the said Mr Painter was totally dispelled by the School’s cohorts; Nick Cook who was pleased to have carried out a structural survey and pronounced the house free of any structural problems and Alan Shaw who started his 60 seconds with a mumble to the effect that he designs buildings, explained to his clients that they couldn’t start work without proper drawings lodged with Building Control and generally behaved as an architect should.

So, with the School of Whimsy not particularly performing, what of the Naughty Corner.  Well, Mike Rogers had returned to the lure of this dastardly part of the meeting. He was firmly ensconced with the 60 second bell in the mists of Smallcombe and Caldon.  To see Howard Bullock in trousers 2 meetings running gave a semblance of respectability but to  their their credit there was a genuine feeling of naughtiness emerging from the far corner of the room throughout the meeting.  Well done lads!!!

Jo Eastwood produced 2 bottles of red, they were powerful spicy reds from Italy.  Their heaviness was as much in the bottles as in their contents which we were kept from us by a cork.  Had the bottles had screw tops……………  It looked like the sort of drink that puts both hairs on your chest and feathers everywhere else.  Talking of hair I feel obliged to return to the School of Whimsy and its practitioner Nike Cook.  His presentation might have been bordering on the mundane. that it could not be said of his glorious head of hair.  It was either quiff or  whatever the expression is, or he had been pulled through a hedge backwards creating the impression of abundant growth.  He bettered any sartorial elegance demonstrated by any other member and for my money deserved an Oscar for his biblical presence.  Others were contending however, Terry Maylin was asking for any  “Shuns” as he put it. “tions” to the uninitiated as in   arbitration, mediation, adjudication or negotiation all stemming from litigation and guaranteed to relieve you  constipation.  His rendition was close to the Oscar but Scott Griffiths emerged head and shoulders above the rest of us by producing a can of “bullshit repellent”.  Sitting near him and smelling the effect of his squirting of said repellent I can confirm that fortunately its smells quite pleasant.

I can’t depart from the 60 second round however without making reference to Alan Moller who had occasion to visit a single lady and advise her on her down lighters.  He made no charge for this

All in all an entertaining 60 second round that was followed by an equally entertaining 10 minute presentation from the old master himself, our Pilgrim, Brian Painter.  A case study that was rather dark despite containing monks, Jack Russells and chickens.  The upshot however was a lady being cured of the effects of childhood abuse which brought home the beneficial effect Hypnotherapy can have on really fundamental problems.  An excellent presentation Brian that gave us all food for thought.

The referrals round was lively with almost 20 referrals by the end of the round and the anticipation of monies to be earned from good referrals.

It is a pleasure to see the lighter mornings.  I arrived and it was light which is always uplifting at this time of year.  I look forward to you all being suitably uplifted and attending next week.