Brentwood Business networking Blog 8th December

Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 8^th December 2016.

22 Members present and one guest witnessed at least two unusual aspects to this week’s meeting.

Both which posed certain difficulties for your chairman at the very beginning of the meeting.

Our guest was from Thurrock Council, there to give us a talk on the grants available in relation to Low Carbon Efficiency. That in itself was not a problem but with the name of Marialena Papadopoulou-Kipou created certain tongue and brain issues that early in the day; I stuck to plain “Marialena”.

Having surmounted this obstacle so early in the day I was confronted with another very different issue.  Howard Bullock managed to come up with one of the best excuses for non-attendance for some time.  He had to arrange for his dog Obi to be taken to the vets to be castrated.  I have to congratulate all members on their restraint and propriety.  Apart from the odd snigger everyone managed to avoid the more obvious quips.  The words “ ’Cos it can…” did not pass anyone’s lips and any superlatives did not refer to any organ or organs of a dog’.   Our sympathy must go out to this particular hound who can presumably now be known as Obi Non Kanobi. Well done everybody.

David Plumley finished the last of his four part thriller on attendance.  It was a bit like Game of Thrones without the sex, violence or intrigue. His message in these Education Slots has been to the effect that you only get good value from your membership if you attend the breakfast  meetings on a regular basis and indeed attending Synergy Team Meetings doesn’t hurt.

Scott Griffiths was presented with his certificate for winning the Performance League last month and this month’s is currently being led by Kevin Radford.

The 60 second round revealed that an awful lot of us are in a hectic, if not to say frantic state in the run up to Christmas.  Michael Adelizzi certainly was.  He did however offer up a remedy for boredom over the Christmas break.  Get into your bathroom and get into some remedial work.  The master of the House of Thrones has a whole range of products that you can buy to tide you over the Christmas to New Year period.  Paul Booth was similarly on message.  When the conversation flags over the Christmas dinner table you can always ask probing questions like, “who is your accountant” and “do you want to maximise tax savings”.  Alan Moller likewise is booked up to Christmas and is therefore not looking for jobs until the New Year. By contrast Jill Willis advised that we should all wind down between Christmas and New Year and think of planning the strategies for our business for the year to come; and whilst we are talking about the New Year, Jo Jones has a voucher scheme to encourage people to exercise more.  Kevin Brooks is trying to finish various jobs by Christmas and is looking forward to a rest.  It must be at least 4 or 5 weeks since he had his last holiday so he had the sympathy of the meeting.

The School of Whimsy was on top form this week.  Alan Shaw is obviously feeling the strain of the run up to Christmas.  He started off talking about  a planning appeal to extend a development from 32 to 39 flats and then mumbled into oblivion.  Nick Cooke by contrast started off in very lively fashion.  His topic was “crack damage” which is not as might appear at first sight, adverse effect from drug use.  He had in fact produced a report for a lady to re-assure her that crack damage was not serious in her property.  She was apparently “thrilled skinny”.

After Nick’s contribution Brian Painter kept up the Whimsy by talking about a plump bird.  This apparently was the culinary desire of one of his subjects who hitherto had been limited to burgers, sausages and potatoes.  Turkey would stick in his throat.  Seems a perfectly reasonable diet to me but our Pilgrim is trying to cure him of it and have him extend his range of food stuffs.

The Naughty Table was definitely depleted this week.  Howard Bullocks absence with his award winning canine excuse was not present to lend his usual disruption through his mere anarchic presence.  Stuart Smallcombe however took up the challenge.  He is involved with a green power station in Mucking, something to do with underground fibres that need to have a full medical.  The juxta position of Mucking and Fibre is enough to drive Mrs Malaprop to distraction.

Honorary School of Whimsy contributor of the week was David Plumley; he talked about an anti-virus called Windows Defender which apparently looked like a chocolate tea pot.  I think this particular part of his 60 seconds shows he has not fully recovered from the Finance Synergy Team’s Dinner when he tried to ensure that everyone sitting round the table took wine with him…on to their laps.

One way or another it was a great 60 second round

Not to be outdone the referrals section produced 23 referrals and recorded business of £59,200.00.

Back to this week’s presentation by the aforementioned Marialena Papadopoulou-Kipou.  She gave a presentation that was both clear and useful.  Although some of the members will not be able to take advantage of the grant system she explained about, there were several who were interested.  It is always nice to have an interesting presentation from a guest to remind us that there is some benefit from getting outside speakers to attend out meetings every quarter or so.  I will be getting further information from her which I will pass on to you all.

As the meeting drew to a close the shadow of Brian Painter fell over us.  Next week will be his extravaganza.  May I remind you not to forget the following:

1. Christmas Pully
2. Secret Santa gift
3. Your forbearance as far as the inevitable quiz is concerned.  Remember this is the quiz where we tend to argue more about the questions than the answers.

I hope we can have full turn out and ask you all to gird up your loins for next Thursdays Meeting.

For those wishing to download the presentation from yesterdays meeting, please use the link below:

locase-presentation