In which we all learned of the 9 Disciplines and Matt Barry revealed how to treat your employees

Another month; another challenge!  The first challenge was for the depleted meeting, brought about by the half term holiday, to match previous meetings both as to referrals and business passed and also  tempo.

Holidays notwithstanding a reasonably well attended meeting reflecting the sunshine in which it started.

Education Presentation

David Plumley delivered the message himself this week.  Rather like the chief monk at a Buddhist Temple he talked of the 9 daily disciplines.  It all seemed to start well when he gave us the first one…

Breakfast!!!  No quarrelling with that!  The second one seemed very un-business related namely Exercise but presumably this is all aimed at a healthy body and a healthy mind to enable us to more successfully carry out our daily tasks.  I am sure you will be grateful if I spare you the full details but notable in the disciplines was tidiness.  Those of us who have our IT heads in the clouds and files on the floor should rethink our habits.  The last one was maintaining a regular bed time and having a good night’s rest; that struck a chord with all of us who had been awoken at 5am in order to put in a timely attendance at our Meeting.  All in all an uplifting message consistent with a first meeting of the month.

The 60 Second Round

Certain milestones in our businesses were marked as follows:

Marcelle Saad told of the £10.00 boot sale purchase of a diamond that has now been valued at £350.000.  It was apparently “old cut” that obscured its true value.

Jo Jones told of somebody who has lost 6 stone very quickly.  I think her problem is trying to get this particular client to eat something.

Dean Caldon and Michael Adelizzi also hit similar themes. The theme was bathrooms. Whatever visions this conjured up to the listening meeting, Michael Adelizzi took it one stage further by suggesting that his recent references of high toilets, low level baths, wet rooms and other indulgences would form suitable subject matter to stimulate a dinner party that was flagging a bit.  I have to say I am in praise of the high level toilet whenever I get an opportunity.

Demetri Bakalov has now got his new workshop up and running.   Apparently it is situated at the back of Billericay High Street.   I think this warrants a few 1 2 1s so that we can have a good look at exactly where he is now hiding out.

Whilst we are on  the subject of baths and the like Sarina Armand brought some props that largely consisted of  methods of opening and closing drawers.  Perhaps it is because she is a new member but remarkable restraint was shown by all but Stuart Smallcombe in not mentioning knobs in any shape or form.  The restraint was all the more laudable because there was a high level of sniggering from the Naughty Table which is the best we can expect from them as far as restraint is concerned.

Stuart Carey was a family representative of Garden Maintenance.  Bill apparently was in Biggin Hill and we learnt of another son Joe who does the real garden stuff, you know, hedges and mowing lawns.  We should remember this for future referrals.

Lee Scarf has been installing boilers here and there, principally for members all of whom coincidentally were not present at the meeting either to verify or to demonstrate that they have not been gassed.

No report on the 60 second round would be complete without a reference to the School of Whimsy.  This, as normal was kicked off by Alan Shaw.  He looked as if he was going to blot his copy book again by starting his presentation off confirming that he designed buildings.  It got much more exciting however when he talked about planning applications for a gypsy encampment giving the distinct impression that he was acting for said Romanies.  Apparently he was organising the opposition however and we should bear him in mind if we see a planning application that we don’t like.  Nick Cooke was both whimsical and lyrical, stating how much he liked looking at houses of all shapes and sizes.  He regarded it as a privilege that he also got paid for this pleasure….  I am afraid we must take our members as we find them!  Final member of the School of Whimsy, Brian Painter, has a new client who I hope will entertain us over the next few weeks.  This is a 28 year old lady who has a premonition of death by car accident and that the car accident is always the same, the car goes off the road and rolls over 3 times.  At this stage I will not offer up any unsolicited suggestions but await further reports in further meetings.

Last week John Freeman won the Oscar but he was not present this week.  Stuart Smallcombe, standing in for him as the Oscar awarder, nominated Matt Barry for his uplifting 60 seconds of the success his company had in qualifying for an award ceremony and separately winning the accolade of “Employer of the Year”. The secret is apparently treating his employees like his clients.  This is not something all of us can always do and come out with any credit as far as the employees are concerned but as a success story it fully deserved the Oscar.

This weeks statistics and points of note

19 Members present,

13 referrals,

£11,250. Worth of business recorded.

10 minute presentation by Aidan Squire

It was my turn this week and although it is never my attention to scare people, I think managed it with my examination of employment and quasi employment contracts and particularly the zero hours contract.  Fear of course can make the most humorous of us serious and I am pleased to say I received 3 very thoughtful questions.  Accordingly to Brian Painter it was the answers to those questions rather than my presentation that really scarred him.  I can assure you all there is nothing to worry about as long as you employ me to guide you and fellow employers through the minefields.