Vincent Goode’s hammer meets David Plumley’s re-boot

It might have been dull outside but the place was positively overflowing, resulting in 24 Members being present and a repeat visitor  Mike Feuer whose application to join was accepted by the committee meeting that followed the main meeting – congratulations Mike.

The Performance League

Last month’s winner, Matt Barry was suitably anointed and this month Paul Booth is in the lead with 245 points.

Education Presentation

This was Vincent Goode’s delivery of a parable.  The Mayor of Gants Hill told of an old paper mill in Derbyshire whose engine broke down, the employees were out at work and the owners were tearing their hair out.  An expert, and old man with a bag, came along, deliberately withdrew a hammer from his bag and with great care and precision smashed the machine with one hammer blow. This had the magical effect of getting everything running again, people back at work and an invitation from the owners for him to submit his bill. At the turn of the 19^th century £100.00 was a lot of money and when asked to justify his bill he explained that £1.00 was for the use of the hammer.  £99.00 was for his knowing how to use the hammer to hit the engine. The moral of this post-industrial revolutionary tale was that you should be confident in your pricing.  Believe in your product and do not be beaten down on price.  It struck me forcibly, that late19th/early 20^th century machines were best dealt with by a sharp blow.   Our modern day computers, slightly more sophisticated, usually are best dealt with by being rebooted.  That is, switched off and switched on again.

The 60 Second Round

Ben Golding, as is now customary, as the person in charge of awarding the Oscar was first up.  He told of a lady called Stella who now supplements her income by introducing people to Utility Warehouse.  Apart from the fact that I know Stella is a place where I go for my holidays, the other surprising  thing is that he appears to have managed all of this assistance to the lady without the Piggy which must be comforting to so many of us.

Anna Marie was quick to pick up on Vincent’s theme.  She showed us a high quality camera but pointed out that all the best equipment in the world was of no use unless you know how to point it.  Terry Maylin maintained the theme by confirming that his consultant fee, for the clients who were willing to pay for his advice, led to a successful outcome of an employment dispute, whereas an enquirer who was not willing to pay had to come back and pay more because he had been dismissed.

What of the School of Whimsey?  Three members were present and correct.  Alan Shaw told of battles on behalf of clients with Planners.  This is a clearly confused situation that he has had to cope with and he definitely made it clear how confusing it was.  Nick Cooke was more to the point.  If you were buying a property, or altering a property or you have neighbours that is making alternations his expertise in structural design and party wall act matters make him the go to person. Brian Painter told of his client Tim who has a very short fuse.  He pulled back at the last minute from thumping an old lady who had cut him up on the road. I sense his frustration but am confident  that Brian will help him deal with his anger issues.  If he does I will sign up in order to keep other old ladies safe on the street.

For those aficionados of our EBF Meetings, there was a rare sight, the Infrequently Spotted Kevin Brooks who has threatened to return next week. If you want to bring binoculars you are welcome to do so.

On a depressing note, Matt Barry and Saj Sreedharan mentioned the “C” word. Matt for tarting up venues Christmas Parties, Saj for wanting to provide flowers for Christmas.

On a more cheerful note, John Hammond declared that he should be recommended because he is not a cowboy…….him big chief CCTV.  The great advantage of his presentation was that he did not mention Christmas and to be fair neither did Howard Bullock. He is apparently dealing with an “Sweet old couple”.  His intentions are to move their investment on to a single platform and get said investments under single roof.  All of this sounds very much like a treehouse.

Also on a similarly cheerful note Kevin Radford indicated that RMK would rather not provide quotes for private motor insurance but will be happy to service EBF Members.  Look upon RMK as an amalgam of Churchill and Harvey Keitel.

Vincent Goode rose to an expectant hush and the other 23 Members listened in awe and without any “hammer envy”. In  fact it was all about pens; pens of all types suitably inscribed with your details.  He did not recommend these as Christmas gifts so his presentation was to that extend totally acceptable.

It simply remains for me to clarify that Brian Painter won the Oscar, largely in anticipation of what will follow next in the story of Tim the human torch.

This weeks statistics and points of note

• 24 Members present
• 1 visitor/new member
• Referrals passed 24
• Monies/Business recorded £53,350.00
• Paul Booth is the current Performance League leader.
• Brian Painter won the Oscar

10-minute presentation by David Plumley

It was the turn of David Plumley of Integrate Networks to present his credentials. Not that his talents  needed explanation.  A large number of members use him and he has kept us all running from time to time when computer system fall by the way side.  He can well be described as a Member who  has  both the hammer and knows where to hit the machine.