When Steel Beam and Asbestos Girl met the Super Purple Pig Man

A dark dull and drizzly morning.  Who would want to venture out in these conditions at 5.30am…..  Well in fact 26 Members did.  The place was full and buzzing.

A great start to Saj Sreedharan’s tenure as Education and Development Officer.  He was greeted initially with an appreciative round of applause which quickly turned raucous due in no small way to the efforts of the Naughty Corner.

The Performance League

As anticipated Matt Barry is well out in front on 351 points and there is still todays to do.

Education Presentation

A hush of anticipation was palpable when our new Education and Development Officer rose to his feet.  He had chosen his jacket well, it was similar design and colour to my own (although much smaller) and equipped with  text from his mobile phone the theme of his first Education Slot was the importance of emphasising your USP.  Your unique selling proposition is not something so generalised as “providing great service” or “guaranteeing prompt attention”; there has to be something concrete that sets you apart from your competitors.  The message from Saj was, if you have not thought about your USP  yet you should do so.

Focus on that in your advertising.

The 60 Second Round

Matt Barry was awarding the Oscar or Oscarina without the statue, as it apparently is doing the rounds on the charity circuit with Matt’s own Blue Sheriff. We are fully anticipating his return next week ready for the award by this week’s winner.

Marcelle Saad has noticed a glut of people getting engaged between now, Christmas and the New Year. Apparently it is the more senior citizens who are to the fore in this activity, her most senior to date is a 72 year old getting engaged to an 80 year old. This statement produced lots of aahhhhhs.

Mike Rogers wasn’t grumpy. Indeed he had successfully arranged a mortgage for a young lady who had hitherto been failed by his profession. Mike in his usual self-deprecating way stated that she had expressed the view that he was a Super Hero. There was a brief pause in the proceedings at this stage when various members speculated upon the appropriate Super Hero to fit various Members.

Mike was followed by Ellen Beckenham who is “Asbestos Girl”. Being slightly down beat she confirmed asbestos if the biggest killer amongst trades in the building industry.

Prize for the shortest presentation went to Kieran Peaty who simply stood up and declared that he was doing the 10 Minute presentation this week…

Ben Golding refreshed from his holiday told of a lady called Karen who had just started maternity leave. His introduction to Utility Warehouse as way of her earning further money during this period time that might extend to the possibility of her not going back to her old job. Well done Ben you can now be known as “Super Purple Pig Man”.

Following Ben Golding was the “Amazing Odd Job”. This particular Super Hero who has been involved this week in saving the world of Kevin Radford by attending to his still leaking toilet.

Terry Maylin is going to be busy in the coming week or so, he has four trials and a mediation and when he dons his cape he becomes “The Amazing Litigator”.

Nick Cooke has been asked to advise someone wanting to take walls down in his property: he fulfils the roll of a Super Hero with the simple title of “Steel Beam”.

Simon of Essex as described by Mr Rogers could alternatively be called Patience. That is what he has had to exercise this week over clients and candidates who have changed their minds and made life difficult for him.

Mason Edwards owned up this week to being a turd polisher. Wearing the right uniform we can name him “Super Turd”.

Vincent Goode was showing off an A4 sheet with sticky stuff at one end which produced a 3D effect when the tricornered paper was turned into a small tower that can sit on the desk . He can now alternate his title of Mayor of Gants Hill with intricate “3D Man”.

Howard Bullock was due to leave early and indeed got the appropriate cheer when he did. He was going to visit two fund managers in London. It was not made clear but he might well be sharing a glass or two at a suitable city hostelry with aforementioned fund managers. The things that he does for is clients…

Allan Moller was all down lighters this week. There are apparently 3 types. When he dons his cape and tucks his underpants in his trousers he becomes “The Spark”. Its not surprising therefore when

Matt Barry chose somebody for the Oscar who wasn’t displaying Super Man characteristics. Brian Painter turned himself into a silent movie illustrating the progression from happy relaxed smoker to dying smoker.

Marcel Marceau……. eat your heart out.

This weeks statistics and points of note

• 26 Members present

• 26 referrals made

• £9,000worth of business recorded

• Brian Painter won the Oscar.

10-minute presentation by Kieron Peaty

As announced in the 60 second round this was Kieron Peaty’s day with a slide show that well illustrated his drawings; we learn of Lola the dog who appeared in one of the earlier photographs that he showed and finally how he is looking to convert his own premises to enable him to work there and have the mountain go to Moses.  Yes, that is the particular Prophet used by him, Mohamed did not get a mention but no doubt that Lola the dog will be happy.

I hope we can maintain our attendance record for next week